What do I want in a man? (The word man can be substituted with partner and he with her or they.)

There is nothing a mature man I love can put in my hand and I won’t multiply it.

What I desire in my love relationship from my lover is a man with clear vision, destiny and purpose.

He is able to cultivate that in himself and see what is in me and helps cultivate that too.

I deserve and desire my man to know where he is going and not to be intimidated by what I’m cultivating and where I am going.

I desire a clear purpose. I desire clear vision. I need to know where we are going, what we are doing and what’s the destination.

There is freedom in a plan. You know where your breaks are and can really relax and be carefree within those times.

The plan can change, it’s not set in stone. It offers shared clarity and direction. This is helpful when sharing a life.

I thrive in clarity. I’m not interested in confusion. I deserve to know where I stand with you always. I deserve to know where I stand in your life and never have to compete with your mother, your sister, your daughter, your dog, or your friends. 

My space in your life needs to be solidified. 

I deserve to be the baddest thing to you; your Queen.

Once direction is clear I desire a disciplined man.

I desire and deserve a man who can communicate with and to me. You don’t have to be perfect, but I can’t work with what I don’t know.

Tell me what I don’t know.

Love me. Be gentle.

You need to provide an environment where I’m safe, where I can go to bed at night without feeling doubt or checking stories because I know your life and I trust you.

I desire & deserve safety, a place where my heart is safe, because I want an environment where I can thrive. 

As that woman I will walk through every fire, and climb every mountain for and with you. 

You don’t have to have a bunch of money, but if you are loyal I will take that small amount and multiply it.

I don’t have time for games. 

As a woman I carry destiny and purpose within me. As a woman, I don’t have time.

If you are lost in ego and the superficial aspects of life and have no faith in or focus on love then fear  and greed make their way in. It is that which destroys destiny and healthy relationships. Be here not elsewhere. Cherish what you have. Don’t keep chasing other things. Appreciate what you have and cultivate with me. Trust me. Love me. Respect me. Celebrate me. Grow with me. Fall with me. Learn with me. Be vulnerable with me. 

Vulnerability is being able to be with your own and other peoples emotions in a healthy way without being threatened by them. Vulnerability is emotional intelligence. Vulnerability is true strength.

As women we keep dating the same problem in a new body until we learn our worth. Once we learn it we will not settle for less.

When I’m down or tired don’t steal my confidence or destroy my self esteem.

What I ask is not that much, in comparison to what you’re going to get back from me. You give these things to me and everything else will be fine. It’s not that complicated.

We want people who are committed to us, who will love us and we will be able to do the same.

I’m not intimidated by trauma. We all have it. 

My question is do you want to come out of it? 

Am I going to be destroyed by trying to help you overcome what you are in?

This is what I want in a man’s man. 

He walks in the room and the whole room shifts. He gets on the phone and his voice begins to calm me. A man’s man.

I deserve a man who celebrates my confidence, embraces my vulnerability and protects my heart. 

What do you do men? 

Protect our hearts, nurture our vulnerable feelings, support our creativity, appreciate our strength, communicate clearly and honestly and live your authentic and honest life in your best way.

These are the do’s. 

You don’t have to fix us or do everything for us.

We are different, but our contrasts are like two different doors to the same place; our hearts, our home. In the contrast and the journey we will fall. Let’s try to fall together not apart.

 If you fall I’ll help you up, drag you to safety, sit in the mud with you, or just stay close until you are ready to get up on your own. 

If you are with me I’ll be there to do the same for you.

Let us walk together as graceful witnesses to each other’s lives and as playful protectors and lovers of each other’s hearts.

In the search for healthy love relationships let us be so courageous as to risk being fully seen because we love ourselves enough to know we will be ok alone , but prefer to be in a healthy partnership. 

If one does not resonate with us or us with them, we can learn to be grateful for the experiences and exchanges we have shared and be able to move on without feeling we’ve lost ourselves or need to be in conflict with each other as we each continue our journeys. We can also both be grateful we know our boundaries and desires and are strong enough not to settle.

In all relationships we must be supple and bend, but there is no reason for anyone to be broken.

Let’s grow together in the intended diversity of this beautiful life.

For the record….I’ve tried three times, been through two marriages, and I think this time I’ve got it. Either way I’m having fun and growing with a wonderful man. If for any reason it comes to an end I will love him and myself enough to wish him well and keep my heart open, as I never intend to give up on love in all its beautiful forms.